Episode 30
The Superwoman Cape and Navigating Leadership Under Fire
Summary:
Yasmeen Duncan shares her transformative journey from survival mode to thriving in leadership. As an accomplished HR executive and executive coach, Yasmeen dives deep into the challenges of managing overwhelming workloads and how she learned to prioritize self-grace, emotional intelligence, and building a personal support system. She discusses practical strategies for achieving balance, and the importance of having a “self-care team.” With insights into her experience in high-pressure environments, Yasmeen’s story offers valuable lessons on leadership and resilience for women of color and all aspiring leaders.
Chapters:
0:00
Surviving and Thriving in High-Stress HR Leadership Roles
6:45
Accountability and Learning from Unprepared Moments in Executive Meetings
Embracing Self Grace and Overcoming the Superwoman Syndrome
Balancing Productivity and Well-Being Through Intentional Living
Building a Self Care Team for Personal and Professional Growth
Building Systems for Thriving in HR Leadership
Host - Alexa Beavers: linkedin.com/in/alexabeaverspmp
Guest - Yasmeen Duncan: linkedin.com/in/yasmeenduncan
Executive Producer Jim Kanichirayil: linkedin.com/in/drjimk
Music Credit: "Lost in Dreams" by Kulakovka
Transcript
And I was talking to my manager and he's what happened today? What's going on? I was like, you know what's going on? I'm working 68 hours. I six time off. I haven't got PTO I'm doing this, I'm doing, he's I know you're doing all the things, but you had three weeks we can dive into this. I didn't manage my time for the duration of time that I had.
I didn't manage my time, I didn't manage my calendar. It was managing me and I was saying yes to everything when that's not what should be happening. Say yes to the need. Not everything, and everything isn't the need.
Alexa Beavers: Imagine being a first time HR director walking into a hotel where a union rep literally swings a baseball bat across the bar.
[:Today, we welcome Yasmeen Duncan, who is a global HR executive. An executive coach with over 20 years of experience driving people strategy and organizational transformation across high growth mission-driven organizations . As CEO of Duncan Workforce Solutions, she provides executive coaching and strategic HR advisory support, helping leaders navigate complexity and lead with clarity.
ders and senior teams. She's [:Yasmine truly embodies leadership at the intersection of experience, purpose, and vision. Her mission is rooted in awakening the power within women of color to lead boldly, live intentionally, and create lasting impact.
The Sisterhood Society is only the beginning of her broader calling to redefine transformational leadership for individuals, organizations in the communities they serve. I'm so excited to welcome Yasmine to the show.
I would love for you to walk me through a time in your leadership career, your journey that felt like a little oof moment that turned out to propel you forward.
years in human resources, [:I was on the executive team and I worked with unions. I was actually. The contact for all six union locals. I was in a role that required a lot of strength and a lot of authority. So it demanded a lot of me not only dealing and managing with unions, but also in how I functioned day to day. There was a myriad of things that had to be done.
brief. Between instances and [:I wasn't ready. I didn't show up well, but I didn't take the time to, take a moment, breathe, think, strategize before I go to the next thing. So it was a fail for me that day.
Alexa Beavers: Okay. You started to paint the picture of what it was like to work in that industry. It sounds like there was a lot happening at all times. I'd be curious a little bit if you could deepen that for me. If I was a new hire following you around, what would a, what would an hour have been like for you?
Yasmeen Duncan: An hour. I typically had 14 to 16 hour days every day, sometimes six days a week. But in an, I was not in my office much unless there was an actual meeting. I was typically all around the hotel. So we would be visiting, going to different departments either to have a coaching conversation with a leader.
Or talk to an employee [:Then I may have in interviews of with union interviews non-union. So no day is ever the same, and you have to, show up being that face of the brand and that cheerleader for all the things that you are trying to move forward. It could just be hard to keep that up all throughout the day, especially on such a long shift.
Alexa Beavers: yeah, I don't know how you did it. 14 to 16 hour days, six days a week. Interns, coaching conversations, going to executive meetings, hiring, maybe firing. I don't know, but that seems like a lot. And then on top of that, if you're doing 14, 16 hour days, you're like, did you eat?
Yasmeen Duncan: [:So I would get to work about 6 45, 7 o'clock or six 30 before everybody. Really starts coming in at 8, 8 30, but I have an investigation that I'm doing in the overnight. I have someone who wants to speak to me in the overnight. I have to pop up in the overnight. So that's how I ended up working around the clock.
Alexa Beavers: Wow. All the things that even pop up, the things you just didn't plan
ive myself. a beat, before I [:Yasmeen Duncan: Absolutely. Like I wasn't prepared like I would have been had I taken the time. I'm like, you know what? I know my key points. I know the things I need to mention. I'm just gonna land these and go from there. But this is a particular meeting that I had that. I was assigned to present some, a few items that we were discussing.
As a senior team, I should have taken the full time to make sure that my points were outlined with a additional points, data, whatever the things are, research follow up to do a proper due diligence. I'm going into an executive meeting. I wanna represent myself as being well able as I know that I am right.
ly informed instead. In that [:Alexa Beavers: So I so appreciate that and I. A lot of people can be like, oh my gosh, been there, done that. does it feel like for you when you're staring across the table or boardroom or whatever and you get these questions coming at you and you've already been working a, maybe it was a long day, a 16 hour day how, what does that feel like for you?
Yasmeen Duncan: It feels put on the spot. It's oh, I couldn't wing this. Like I thought I could to just get through this meeting. I should have done a further due diligence. So I think in those moments, it's not time to lead with excuses, but rather personal accountability to the group and say, these are a lot of great questions that just came forward.
I need to further do another [:with top line items. I just asked a few of the executive members to stay behind ' cause this was like some critical things.
Alexa Beavers: Yeah, it does feel like you're put on the spot and in the moment I don't know if I would've had presence of mind to say, to get out of my self-talk say, I'll take accountability for this. That's pretty noble. How do you, how did you manage that?
Yasmeen Duncan: when you have these moments in your career that you don't shine as you know that you could, I. Instead of looking at this as a moment of defeat, what is the opportunity for me in this point in time? What is the lesson for me to learn what this all happened for a reason? I don't believe that anything happens just by happenstance.
ke from this so I can propel [:It was family owned. So if there was an HR director at another property or any HR party at another property, they wanted advisement, they wanted to bounce stuff off of. I also needed to be available for that. And we had properties in Costa Rica, we had a property in California. I needed to be available for that on top of everything going on in my property.
So a lot to do.
t, what were the surrounding [:So what were the things that were setting off alarm bells for you? When you were in the middle of the room and you had these questions and you thought to yourself, I could have done better, was from the inside?
Yasmeen Duncan: I think it was a little bit of both. I can see the face is like, what? You don't know. We need to have another meeting to talk about this. And I have a pet peeve on not being prepared. Personal pet peeve. But I felt prepared enough that I had enough to discuss enough diligence that I did do and enough fluency, great word for the conversation that I could carry okay and be fine in this meeting.
. That's not good. And I can [:And outside of having accountability in the room, I spoke to him after, they all knew how I work and what's going on. They see the times that the emails are going out. If I'm sending an email at three 30 in the morning, I'm actually not home. I'm at the hotel still and I am emailing 'cause I'm working.
Alexa Beavers: What I'm hearing from you is that you and you could tell me I'm wrong,
I think you have a super high standard for yourself and you've built a reputation and in that moment you were holding yourself to a really high standard. You're like, let myself down. Is that a, is that true?
t going to happen. There are [:You are, whatever the need is, you are there fulfilling, but in you. Providing the service, the need, the ask, the request for all the things, all the people that are, that require you in your life, what is left for you to give yourself. And I was in a role where I was allowing my job, my role. Yes, I was, the commitment was bar none.
er of the year award for the [:Alexa Beavers: I feel deserved you.
Yasmeen Duncan: of this, of everything that happened in this hotel, but how the transformation that took place, and that wasn't just me. I had an incredible team and it was two other people. Been to Diallo and Sore. I can't say my story Superstar. We did it together. I, I don't know where I would be without my team.
What is the priority? So important.
Alexa Beavers: I am just thrilled by hearing you say I gave myself grace. And I have to tell you, I just did an interview with another amazing woman of color this morning and we talked about that superwoman cape, and she also was talking about having to do and be it all. And when you told me I learned self grace, your whole face changed. I don't know if you knew that, but it was like open and softer and more loving to yourself, I think.
Yasmeen Duncan: Yeah.
as just a beautiful. Moment. [:Yasmeen Duncan: Yeah. It's it's literally like c collegiate level papers on this. It's literally like a syndrome. It's like a situation.
Alexa Beavers: not one doubt in my mind. And what I also noticed is that what really stood out to me was that moment where you said to your boss, I need a moment too. And I'm wondering, had you expressed what you needed before that?
Yasmeen Duncan: No, because I felt like my needs were for me to figure out. I. Not for someone to help me or guide me or be the heir you gotta go. But it was something else for me to do, not for something else. For me to make the space for to be done for me.
y golly you'll be there. The [:So I think that there's a, some sort of dynamic between taking ownership for things and taking ownership for own needs and loving yourself and being graceful with yourself, being kind to yourself.
Yasmeen Duncan: Absolutely. Being kind to myself. Oh, it allows balance. Like I don't, I in the it's been a journey, right? And I started this journey at this particular employer thereafter, I should say like when I was there, but also much more doing the work. It's not about me doing a lot of things.
t I'm thinking about it now, [:I didn't care what time it was, it didn't matter. And I started as a HR temp and moved my way up. But I was just like this, I don't know where this militant mindset and behavior, like I have to do this way came, but I was practicing a mastering, doing do this, do that, do this, do that, do it well.
Sure. But what about what has transitioned for me is. It's great to do things, but where are you doing them from? What is your state of being? Where's your spirit versus being who I need to be so that I can do all the things I need to do, but not function from a state of depletion, but rather abundance. So now let me give you an example of that may sound a little abstract.
s, very connected to how I'm [:1:30 AM for work. Okay, I'm gonna go home. No, what why am I working through a headache and what you would think someone was on my back? It was me. If I don't, if I feel at capacity is what I say, or if I feel just internally full, when you have a almost like a heavy conversation and it's okay, we could just stop talking about this.
I need a minute when I feel that like internal need a minute, we're wrapping it up. Tomorrow is another day. This is, these are the core five things, not a list of 25 things. Let's be realistic. Core five things I absolutely need to get done today. So that's at the top of the list. But, and, but now on my calendar, those five things are spread across the day.
e managed. I don't have this [:And because I'm protecting my state of being, my peace of mind, my calm my mental capacity. I can be more agile and flex because I have room. I'm not depleted of anything. I'm well rested before it's four hours of, I didn't understand people sleeping for eight hours for years.
I have to tell you, eight hours of sleep. And I would, I didn't get it up until a few years ago, to be honest.
Alexa Beavers: you had eight hours of sleep lately? 'cause it's glorious.
Yasmeen Duncan: I wouldn't say eight hours. I'm like at a good seven, six and a half, seven.
Alexa Beavers: In window of scientific okayness.
e, four hours I was ready to [:Who's living like that?
Alexa Beavers: Yeah, let a lot of people might be living like that.
Yasmeen Duncan: Yeah.
Alexa Beavers: recount some of the things that really stood out to me. And I can identify with some of these things, like I love a dopamine hit from checking off something off the checklist, and even I still like it. And if that becomes where you over index, what I heard you say is, I was just doing things, and then you said, but then there was a shift. From what place am I doing these things? From what space of being am I doing these things? And when you started asking yourself that, or when you brought that up, then you were more intentional about which things to do. And then was space you could be in the moment and be proactive and responsive of just running through the list and saying, headache, go away.
happen over a few weeks or a [:Yasmeen Duncan: few years this happened and to speed up that process, I got a coach. I have a wellbeing coach, I'm also an executive coach, and what I'm taught, what I came into and learned from myself. I live well now. Oh, that feels good. I live well. When I finish my day, you know when you eat a good meal and you feel like, oh, that was good.
You feel full. That's what I look to feel. I visual when I wake up in the morning. And so me having, taking a step back to give you the steps, me having a coach supported me having an accountability partner for the shift when I was I'm leaning into hustle. She's oh. Wait, hold on. Why are you doing that?
en coaching people, advising [:If I am supporting conflict between two employees uplifting my team, listen, hr, you're wearing a myriad of hats. You're going high and low all throughout the day. When I come home, my phone rings. And it's my really good girlfriend. Do I get on the phone? I've been, you have been talking all day.
You have been talking all day. Do you need to pick up this call right now? Do you even need to text? Say, Hey, I'll call you later. Just be I, come home, let me be still. Let me be quiet. Let me reflect on my day. Where did I excel? What lesson was there for me? What's bothering me? I need to sit with, let me make this space, let me sit with it.
engaging all day, and I'm an [:I. And with me doing the work and me having the fruit of the work, because I live well I am not over capacity. My limits are not reached every day before when I feel my limits coming, I'm like, oh, hold on. We need to pause. We need to stop. We, let's recalibrate. I put time blockers in between meetings.
I don't that whole back to back. I've listen, and even to this day, I'm always going to be. A queen of productivity
Alexa Beavers: Yeah, that's not going away. That
Yasmeen Duncan: that's not
Alexa Beavers: it's not an either or.
Yasmeen Duncan: right.
Alexa Beavers: It's not Yasmine or my to-do list. I think there might be an and that you built.
I have? Oh, I didn't get to [:Alexa Beavers: And they were the ones that you said was important, I think.
Yasmeen Duncan: There you go. And then the rest Before. Before it's like I didn't get when it's the list. Okay, that's internal. I need to manage that. I'm getting like aggy about the list of things that I didn't finish. That's where the self brace comes in. Tomorrow's another day.
Alexa Beavers: I really am grateful that you went so detailed and said I needed a coach to help me to do this, and I Do you mind if I ask you a question about that?
Yasmeen Duncan: Oh, please.
Alexa Beavers: Okay, so a lot of people I know have a hard time asking for help, I think you might have been one of those people too, based on what you shared. I wasn't, I was gonna help myself. How did you move from being like I gotta figure that out for me, but, or it's not on the list to I will seek help from someone because I need it and deserve it.
tually wasn't that person. I [:Whatever I need. I'm fully capable, well able to go get it, to find it, to seek, to search, to obtain it, and I will end scene never even dawned on me. Look at help. No I'm all the help I need. I got it. We're good. I'm a, I love podcasts. I can't say how many audio books I read and I love reading . I love listening to podcasts and I love watching interviews of various successful people, millionaires, billionaires. It's interesting how their mindset is so different and what is the common, I look for common lengths and behavior and patterns isn't an HR person. We're always looking at like human behavior, stuff like that.
st have coaches. They had an [:They got, what are you, who's your team keeping you? What does that look like? And I'm like, huh, I don't have, so I call it self-care team. I think everybody needs a self-care team. You gotta figure out what that looks like. I have a full self-care team,
Alexa Beavers: Who's on the team?
Yasmeen Duncan: so I have a wellbeing coach, I have a gut health coach, I have a therapist. This is something that's debatable for a while. I had someone come and clean for me because how I look for that, my, my cleaning person who would clean my home. Why would that be on the self-care team? When you think about the amount of time, I'm basically trading dollars for time as an executive.
yself and give me time back. [:Alexa Beavers: Smart. Yeah. I think the wisdom in that is saying, I am trading dollars for time. You just stepped into that and said, I'm worth giving myself this time.
Yasmeen Duncan: And I always make sure every week I go get a massage. That's just me. That's like my external self-care. I think there should be some external self-care, something in there, but it's super important. I. Yeah, because all of everyone, the rest of my self-care team is internal, right? My coaches, my therapists, so my ex who's on my external self-care, so I have my cleaning person and then my Jesus.
or the moment of whatever is [:That to me is my internal red pen, and I think that matters the most.
Alexa Beavers: absolutely. And it's one of the things that I like to ask people is how did this fast forward your career? And I'm just gonna say, it sounds like it fast forwarded your career and your life, because at the end what you're saying, I live And you gave out some really good free knowledge here about how to do that for yourself.
Can you recap for me like two lessons that you think of all of this? What are the two most important things you would say to somebody to focus on that are the biggest lessons that really made the biggest difference for you on this
you build up psychological. [:You're wearing many hats. I'm the director, I'm the coach. I'm the advisor. I'm the executive. I'm, the list could go on and on, from every hour of the day. It's something else. And all these things that can just come and hit your calendar that wasn't on it. You need to be able to be, to function as an HR person.
You're like the shock. Organizational absorber. Everything is hitting you. Everybody's venting to you. Guidance is expected to come from you at all times, while also being the face of the brand and the cheerleader. You need to be able to build a psychological resistance so that you don't burn out, that you don't deplete, that you don't just function and hustle in doing, but that you can function well from a place of abundance.
lance. So again, I have time [:Fine. But my mornings are protected and it's blocked off so that there's key action items I can do or something from the previous day. I make sure that I have breaks in between. I look at the times, when do I typ, when do I eat lunch? I'm not going to eat a heavy meal if I really need to keep a high speed pace 'cause that's gonna bring down my energy.
Finding ways to. Maintain your energy and boost it. When after you eat, you settle. You could feel a little slothful. If I know that I'm about to go into a meeting or present something, I wanna maintain my energy for that duration of time. So I should do something that feeds my energy.
meeting that I'm about to go [:I'm pumped, I'm ready, I'm excited. My energy's right where it needs to be. I have, I then have time, 30 minutes block before that meeting to look at, make sure that I'm well prepped. Everything is there, right? I've done my research. I've given myself the time. I've prepared, I've fed my energy. Now I'm ready to execute well.
So rituals, breathing, whatever it is that you need to do, make the space so that you can be. Resilient for whatever hits you. I think the second develop your emotional intelligence, I have to tell you like what gets you in the door. Sure is. Being a very competent HR leader and knowing all the the tactical things.
an organization, how do you [:I could have sat there and made excuses. I could have Oh, and awed and stuttered. We're not doing that. These are great questions. I don't have the answers today. I should have, but I don't. This is when I'm gonna have the answers for you. This is my ask of everyone here. I appreciate the patience in advance and I ask for grace and space.
Get in front of it. I think of comedians and I love how they function. They tell jokes on themselves, like before anyone could get to the joke or put them on blast. They do it. And doesn't that take the heat off? That's why I leave with accountability. I'll own it.
. The unions are unions, the [:The contract is a contract, right? But it required a lot of authority, a lot of demand in my tone, my posture, how I operated. However, outside of that environment, any other role that I've had since then, I. Or any role that I've engaged in, if there's like contract work or whatever have you, it's not authority that helps me move through an organization and be impactful.
It's influence. So I think having emotional intelligence and building that supports me, increasing my political fluency in the company. It helps me move the needle forward in terms of building coalitions, right? Building advocates, building sponsors. I have a personal care team who's my board of directors at work?
fluency is huge, and you can [:Alexa Beavers: There is so much really practical and heartfelt stuff in here, and I'm very grateful for it. I noticed that towards this last part, what really occurred to me was I said, Hey, what are some of the things you can do? And there was so much intention in your rituals and your intention in your rituals really helps you, it sounds to be in that space so that you can have capacity to be emotionally intelligent. So you're curating a whole system with your rituals, with your team. You called it your personal care team, that allows you to do the things that are helping you to be successful now. It really is something that you've built around yourself. And it started with you giving yourself some grace and realizing you don't have to be in reaction mode, but you're, you've moved fully into. I'm proactive, I'm owning it. I take up the things that I wanna do. And if I don't wanna do it, if I don't wanna have the energy to talk to my buddy [00:35:00] today, I'm just gonna take the space for myself. And that positions you to be great the next day and great the next day. Choose. Choose your path.
Yasmeen Duncan: Choose your path. Choose your path.
Alexa Beavers: beyond fun for me to talk with you and learn from you, and just thanks for being so generous.
Yasmeen Duncan: No, absolutely. I appreciate this time. This has been a really great conversation. I think you said something that really sums it all together that I never considered in that way, but it is a system. And I think that's the biggest takeaway of anyone. I think someone starting their career, even if it's earlier on mid-level, or even at the executive level, really sit and reflect what is my system, what works for me to be most optimal?
And if you don't have a system, get one because that is how you thrive. And that is how I went from survival mode to thriving at work.
ers: Yeah, you have built it [:Yasmeen Duncan: Absolutely. So on LinkedIn, Yasmine Duncan I also have and I'm the leader and principal for Duncan Workforce Solutions. We are an executive coaching service and HR consultancy. So all the work that I talked about is what I do with executives and with leaders. To help them come up with their systems at work.
So that's where I can be found. And Duncan workforce solutions.com is our website.
Alexa Beavers: Awesome. LinkedIn Duncan workforce solutions.com. I know that you're gonna make a big difference in people's lives because you're so generous with what you shared. Thank you.
